2005-11-27 - 10:51 a.m.
SIGNS OF THE TIMES
Observed By Peter Fredson
For Amusement Purposes Only
November 27, 2005
While roaming the internet daily, when I find an amusing or cogent sign I jot it down. Here is my latest collection:
CAUTION: AUTOMATIC DOOR (PUSH TO OPERATE)
ALL DEPLETED URANIUM GOING CHEAP.
CAUTION, REPUBLICAN CORRECTIONAL FACILITY AHEAD, DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS.
ANTIQUE DIVINATIONS MADE HERE DAILY.
DRIVE RECKLESS! IT HELPS DICK CHENEY’S BUSINESS!
BUSH LEARN TO READ PROGRAM: CALL 505-2918
EXCULPATORY STATEMENTS MADE WHILE YOU WAIT!
WE MAKE OLD DOCUMENTS TO ORDER.
DO YOU TRUST GEORGE BUSH AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I ASK AGAIN LATER?
FOR SALE: BY NEOCONSERVATIVE: USED SOCIAL SECURITY CARDS.
LET US ALL PRAY FOR RAIN AND CHICKEN SOUP.
THIS GOVERNMENT RECOMMENDED BY OWNER.
GENUINE PLASTIC BEHAVIOR MADE TO ORDER.
CAUTION - WATER ON CAPITOL DURING RAIN
JESUS IS COMING!
NO ABORTIONS TODAY.
PRIVATE PROPERTY
NO TRESPASSING
NO EXIT
LEGALITIES FOR SALE TO GO TO GITMO.
THE CAPITAL OF WASHINGTON IS “W.”
TALKING TO GOD IS EASY.
GETTING AN ANSWER IS ANOTHER QUESTION.
WE ARE WILLING TO GIVE YOUR LIFE
FOR OUR COUNTRY.
IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT
TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING.
I MAY NOT BE A GREAT DICTATOR
BUT I’M THE BEST YOU GOT.
DRIVE CAREFULLY. THE LIFE YOU SAVE
MAY BE LAURA BUSH’S.
ASK NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO
FOR YOUR COUNTRY,
JUST SHUT UP AND DO AS I SAY.
A TELEVANGELIST SAW A 750-TALL JESUS
I SEE A FAT LOUD-MOUTH MONEY-GRABBING PREACHER.
HELP! I WAS ABDUCTED BY DONALD RUMSFELD
AND NOW SERVE IN IRAQ.
THOSE WHO DON’T REMEMBER HISTORY
ARE DOOMED TO BECOME REPUBLICANS.
FASCISM WHILE YOU WAIT.
TAKE A NUMBER.
WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE,
NOT MUCH WAS SAID OR DONE.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
EVERYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU.
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO A REPUBLICAN ATTORNEY.
IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD AN ATTORNEY, THAT’S TOO BAD.
WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
WE IS THE GOVERNMENT. DEAL WITH IT.
VICTIMS OF KATRINA: TAKE A NUMBER AND LIE DOWN HERE. GEORGE WILL BE OUT TO TALK TO YOU WHEN HE FINISHES CUTTING BRUSH.
PHOTO-OPS MADE IN A MINUTE. SANDWICHES AND CRANES WILL COME HERE SHORTLY.
PEOPLE WILLING TO TALK TO FOX REPORTERS WILL FOLLOW THE SCRIPT OR BE SENT TO A SECRET C.I.A. CELL.
USED CONSTITUTION FOR SALE CHEAP
REPLY TO INTERROGATOR PROMPTLY UNDER PENALTY OF SEVERE INJURY.
A DEFICIT IS A WONDERFUL THING TO WASTE.
DICK CHENEY IS IN THE BUNKER PLAYING MONOPOLY
BILL LIKES BLOW-JOBS; GEORGE IS A BLOW-HARD.
WHAT MONICA DID FOR BILL, GEORGE IS DOING TO THE COUNTRY.
WE ARE FOX REPORTERS. WHERE THE HELL CAN WE FIND SOME NEWS?
CURIOUS GEORGE JUST STOPPED BEING CURIOUS.
BEING DRUNK IN LAREDO IS THE SAME AS BEING DRUNK IN THE OVAL OFFICE.
NO CHILD’S BEHIND LEFT.
ENVIRONMENT? IT UP AND LEFT.
ONLY GOD KNOWS. ONLY GEORGE TELLS.
PRAYER IN THE OVAL OFFICE IS LIKE MASS IN THE WHORE HOUSE.
THE BUSH JUSTICE SYSTEM IS RUN ON 3-GOD POWER.
WE ARE ONLY ONE FUNDAMENTALIST SUPREME COURT JUSTICE AWAY FROM BECOMING A FASCIST THEOCRACY.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR PRESIDENT IS HIDING TODAY?
ALL NIPPLES WILL REMAIN COMPLETELY COVERED TO AVOID THE COLLAPSE OF CHRISTIANITY.
THIS CONGRESSIONAL ELEVATOR ONLY GOES SIDEWAYS.
THE TROUBLE WITH CONGRESS IS THAT IT HAS TOO MANY DeLAYS.
WE DO NOT TORTURE BUT SOMETIMES TICKLE.
